A Vision Through the Mists

Tags

fiction, Legacies Nexus, Pearl Grey, RolePlay, Second Life

Am I Dreaming? That Looks Like My Other Home.

August 30, 1892

The hot cup of tea I hold in my hands as I look about the scattered items all over the floor feels real. I can smell the scent of Jasmine and taste the subtle flavor, sweetened with a bit of honey. But I cannot seem to trust all my senses and I must confess that for awhile I believed there would be a semblance of normal every day life here. Here being Serenity Falls.

I’d planned to travel to Serenity Falls upon occasion for business and socialization from my home in Torn Oak but the nightmares I had there were increasingly disruptive. I would awaken in a panic and it felt like the house was spinning. Several times I dreamt that the entire roof was gone.

It was bothersome enough that I brought my potion supplies here by ship, waiting for them after traveling through a portal. I’ve read, napped and watched the  stars from my balcony, looking forward to focusing on my work. When the ship had delivered my possessions, I diligently crafted my lotions but when it was time to return I felt such a sense of foreboding that I chose to stay here for awhile  longer.

Then it became apparent that I needed warmer clothes due to freakish storms and I missed some of my books as well. Contacting the Captain of the ship who knew of my home, I arranged for another few crates of my things to be delivered to me here. A few days ago he returned with the strange pronouncement that Torn Oak was no longer there. The harbor where his ship had always docked was not to be found and his navigation instruments were otherwise reliably operating.

The Captain had always been trustworthy before and I didn’t quite know what to think. Then the view on the horizon here seemed to be changing through the swirling mists and my dreams became very strange once again. I have doubted my sanity, something I thought I was beyond after everything I’ve been through.

So I keep myself very busy with my books, lotion crafting and puttering about. When I stand on my balcony and squint my eyes I can almost see my beloved cottage on the far hill. I’ve been too frightened to explore further and I dare not mention it to anyone lest they see it as a sign of instability and weakness.

If the strange vision continues I might ask my neighbor, who is a Doctor, for some sort of medicinal relief.

Behind the Scenes

Tags

Entertainment, life, Photos, Second Life

Cyber-Punk Character Offering Support To My Victorian Gentleman Neighbor As He Moves In Next Door.

My Real Life is becoming very busy. At the same time, there is rapid ongoing changes in the sims I play on, some of which I might not care to continue with. I feel like a mushroom. You know, being kept in the dark and fed shit.

I have intentions of exploring role play for awhile and also of keeping up this blog. The blog will have to reflect my choices and changes and I’ll attempt to restrain myself from too many details of my process. I really do work at a balance of writing for others and also for myself here.

There are improvements to be made in my photographs. I recently discovered I had my graphics set to LOW. When I moved the setting to HIGH, suddenly I saw candle flames and sparkles on the water. I don’t care for how long it takes to rez things though.

Some people I talk to in SL have simply vanished recently, not logging in at all and I’m learning that’s not unusual.  I don’t give out my real life info or skype or e-mail, so really I guess I don’t need to know why.  I’m just going to behave like I’m really cool about it, as though all is well, which it very likely is.

Curtains ~ the first thing I ever made

It just happened. While helping my neighbor furnish his place, I got a quick lesson in making something–dragging a curtain texture onto a stretched cube to make these curtains. I’m so proud! There are so many fine creators in SL that I think I’ll leave it to them though.

I found a blog about Second Life that was started several years ago before I even knew SL existed and I’ve very much enjoyed reading it. I’ve read the archives from 2008 — 2010 so far.

I hope Second Life continues for awhile but I’m getting used to things ending, as many of us are.

Seeking Inhabited Lands

Tags

choices, Game of Thrones, life, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Wren Alcyone

Still Searching

Wren considering traveling from Winterfell to Gulltown

I keep hearing echoes that winter is coming. It must be true. And even though I have the presence of mind to take care of my life in the moment, even though I was raised to stand on my own two feet no matter the harsh circumstances, it may be time to move on. Time to look for a more hospitable land.

And if it is mostly uninhabited as well, Nobles haughtily walking with their noses in the air, small folk shuffling along with their heads bowed and eyes on the ground, at least it can be a change of scenery. A more mild and hospitable clime.

And if it turns out to be a mistake, no matter. I would have simply chosed with the best I knew. When this life is over I will surely see how it all did indeed matter.

Transforming or If It Isn’t Broken, Don’t Try to Fix It

Tags

architecture, awareness, behavior, choices, Consciousness, Health, health, life, values

photo credited to Ahorcado through Flickr Creative Commons license

When I become aware of something not working, I like to skip over the blame part. I ask myself how I’d rather experience the situation. Do I simply need to change my perception? Is there an action I can take to bring about change? Do I have the resources to transform something? Is the timing right?

Change for the sake of change alone can be distracting busy work. The obsessive grasping for perfection is painful. Transformation of something to a higher level of expression is a kind of art. Sometimes it can be easy ~ just a letting go of a lower level of being or doing.

There are some things that, while not ideal or perfect, can simply be accepted and appreciated. They have not outlived their beauty or usefulness. They can still serve adequately, in a stable way, while other things are crumbling or being consciously transformed.

My physical body certainly isn’t perfect but I’m going to take care of it as best I can. No way do I want to cultivate criticizing it or do I plan on using my resources for altering it. I have no interest in suffering for a cultural ideal of beauty.

During the 1970’s, the city in which I’ve lived for the last six years went on a re-development rampage and destroyed lovely old buildings for hideous ones, many of which now stand empty. There are ways to upgrade buildings for environmental reasons. Not everything has to be trashed.

I’d rather pay attention and transform the areas where my life is whispering that I need to rather than waiting for it to all pile up until disaster happens. I also like to  be efficient and keep what is still useful, beautiful, steady and serviceable in my life.

The people I know who are addicted to self-improvement are no fun to be around; they make me uncomfortable. When it comes to transformation, right now I can  think of no better way to say it than the Serenity Prayer.

Slink With the Herd or Tromp a New Path?

Tags

Grey, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Shadowrun

August 27, 2080

Sometimes making decisions seems to be such a crap shoot. Go with my gut or apply logic? Never having all the information, there comes a time when looking to the matrix isn’t enough; I just have to go with the random bits of data that come across my link and try to make sense of the mosaic of factoids.

Going with my gut usually works when matching up a tea selection with a customer in the Golden Dragon. Or choosing which dress to wear with my mood, if indeed a dress will carry me through most of my day without my having to make a quick trip into the sewers or a creepy abandoned building.  It doesn’t work so well when most of the chummers I interact with have lost whatever empathy or emotional body they ever had.

Getting a read on an augmented creature with whatever brand of crazy they’re programmed with, interspersed with my interactions involving the bewildering cultural differences of other races, it’s easy for me to lose confidence in my ability to navigate through this life.

We’re all hooked up together some ways. This Runners Haven island sometimes calls for being temporarily allied with those one would normally avoid. It’s more than just being a business owner, although I take that very seriously. Got to have some sort of purpose, right?

It’s so expensive to get a copter ride off this island and the traveling by boat to the mainland is damned dangerous. I get so lonely here. It’s been ages since I’ve seen someone without pointy Elven ears or mostly tech parts. Someone who knows how to laugh. The Chief Regulator Troll spends most of his time shacked up with his woman, or so I’ve been told. Those who took over this island have vanished apparently. For how long, I have no idea. Again, not much data about it comes across my link and the whispers on the street have been eerily silent.

Friday evening I went to the Cat Scratch Club to forget about the week and have some drinks. I looked around the crowd and saw few I knew and even fewer that I’d want to talk to. Ryan arrived and we had a little catch-up talk and a few drinks before some jerk grabbed her, yelling something about a job. I had to pull a knife on him. Sad. I can’t go anywhere without weapons.

There are large paw prints in the damp areas of Mourningwood Park. Maybe the Elf twins have had some failed magic and have become a tasty snack?  No idea.

I’m strong and independent. While willing to collaborate and be a team player with what I can bring to the table, I can also take the initiative and travel this path alone if need be. Without a spirit animal. Without the Corps. Without the Yakuza jerks who brought me here to run the Golden Dragon. If there’s to be a freaking blackout, I can read my old books by candlelight. I’ve got plenty of soy noodles stashed.

If the island is to be abandoned to the rats, the street sams, the junkies and the chipheads, I’ll need to be prepared for a quick exit. I’m keeping an alert watch on it.

A Day of Rest

Tags

behavior, choices, Health, life, Photos, photos

What Do I Want To Do Today? Image Credited to yukop Under flickr Creative Commons License

Is it to be a day of mostly solitude in order to regroup and recharge my batteries? Will I feel social and want to explore my city neighborhood and be amongst people?   Will I want to read? Socialize online? Sleep half of the day? What sort of balance do I need? What will restore me?

I know that I work to live and I don’t live to work.

And if I need a good role model of how to spend a day of rest ~ I need look no further than a cat.

Emotions in Online Interaction

Tags

behavior, Consciousness, emotions, Entertainment, gaming, Health, League of Legends, learning, life, Photos, RolePlay, roleplay

Oh I Really Really, Really Want Things To Go My Way ~ Image Credited to UW Digital Collection on Flickr Commons

I’m not a gamer but I role play in Second Life. Yesterday evening some of the people I spend time with there were focused on Guild Wars 2 which was available for pre-order to be released on the 28th.

I’ve encountered all kinds of behavior in Second Life resulting from emotions and attitudes as well as becoming triggered myself.  I tend to believe that when something triggers me it has not so much to do with what’s going on in the moment; instead it’s connected to ways I’ve been wired in the past. When I’m motivated enough I use what I’ve learned about myself to clear things out and upgrade my emotional intelligence skills.

Besides brain wiring, I believe that some of the emotions are affected by the snacks one is choosing while engaged. Sometimes the other players share info about what they’re eating and drinking and it’s certainly not the same choices that I make.

Recently I’ve read an enjoyable and thoughtful post about emotions and gaming. It is also somewhat applicable to role play in simulated worlds. It was written by a blogger who plays League of Legends and covers negative types such as The Blamer, The Downer, The Indifferent/Silent One, The Pompous One, The Rager, The Scapegoat, The Troll, and The Try-Hard.

A different sort I’ve encountered in the worlds my characters live in are The Queens and The Lords and while I respect that someone has created a world for us to play in, there are limits to the homage I can muster up. I’m just an equality-for-all kind of woman at heart, although when it comes to play I’ve found I’m a minority.

The guide also gives tips on cultivating positive attitudes and moods and while long, has lots of cat pictures interspersed for your amusement.

Pearl Keeps Up With the Ever-Changing Worlds

Tags

fiction, Legacies Nexus, Pearl Grey, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Victorian

The New Apartment on an Island With Lighting to Accommodate Vampires, Demons and Drow

August 23, 1892

I don’t wish to have the magical secrets revealed to me that accomplished the demolishing of the building in which I lived here in Serenity Falls and the rising up of a new one. Many of my belongings are in the cottage in TornOak but it was still quite a labor to supervise the group who assisted me in with the packing and subsequent unpacking. I must say that I’m pleased with the new place and it quite got my mind off the rumblings and rumors of ever-impending doom.

Even though the lack of light here has drawn the Vampires, I find that I must venture out at times. Indeed it’s the desiring of company that has led me to live part-time here instead of hiding away in my cottage. One such pale creature spoke with me the other evening and I firmly made it known that I recognized what she was and that I thought it vulgar and pathetic for one to not even carry on a stimulating conversation but simply size me up for what I might do for them or what they might do to me.

Later I went into the city proper for a meal in the tavern and in no time some familiar faces from the old, destroyed London ventured in, although as usual there was some sort of distress or agitation going on in their minds. At least one of them is still human; the others were obviously not. I felt quite social until the tentacled and winged ones arrived; then I became more reserved.

I survived the evening and slept rather well. Still alive and still human.

Behind the Scenes (Or When I Used to be a Raccoon)

Tags

behavior, blogging, Entertainment, learning, life, Pearl Grey, RolePlay, Second Life, values

Pearl’s First Avatar When She Was Rezzed on August 27, 2011

Pearl ~

Yes, that’s a pixel raccoon.  Pearl Grey’s one year rez day anniversary is Monday. This photo wasn’t taken her first day. It would be awhile before I figured out how to take photos or even take any interest in them at all. There’s a steep learning curve in Second Life and I’m not good with tech stuff anyway.

Pearl was actually a raccoon for at least a month. When picking a starter avatar I knew I didn’t want to be a robot or a vampire. Eventually she began to transform into a different appearance. I got her a freebie female shape and skin and have  done some upgrades over the months. I’ve worked at keeping her safe as she’s evolved into the explorer and staunch believer in authenticity and freewill that she is today.

Blogging ~

Akismet has blocked a lot of spam. It’s been worth taking a glance at some of it as some of the comments have not been spam and it feels good to get friendly feedback on a post. I’ve discovered a few good blogs that way by paying attention.

I’ve selected some photos from Flickr Creative Commons for this blog, taking care to credit the photographer. On their Flickr page I’ve commented that I’ve shared the photo in a blog post, but have discovered that I’m not allowed to post the URL there. I would think those photographers would like to know how their pictures are being used so I’ve left info so they could find the posts here if they do a little work.

Wren ~ A Tree Falling and No One to Hear

Tags

Game of Thrones, photos, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Wren Alcyone

Wren Can Figure Out How to Have a Good Time

Some days the village is deserted. There are no sounds coming from the keep. Maybe the falling tree doesn’t make a sound if there’s no one to hear. But it will have an effect on the forest anyway, an effect that will ripple out through time and space. There need be no other validation. Choices I make will ripple out through other worlds and other times and carry down through generations. Though I be only Small Folk, therein lies my power.

Wren in the Tavern~

[13:28] Wren Alcyone looks around the empty tavern and enjoys her meal, humming to herself. “I might as well pretend that I’m the Queen here,” she laughs as she drinks more ale. “I can do what I want at this moment.”

[13:32] Wren Alcyone sings to herself. “I’m the Queen….I’m the Queen….I’m the Queen.” She laughs and helps herself to more Arbor Red and delicious roast boar with mushrooms and field greens.

[13:36] Wren Alcyone dances around the porch of the tavern, not a care in the world. She lets the moment soak into her very being.

((And hopes her French Manicure is overlooked.))