Sixty Days for a New Habit?

Tags

behavior, blogging, choices, Consciousness, life, values

Yesterday I published my 60th post in a row here. Now I’m less likely to abandon this blog. Studies can be made to show support for almost anything, and I don’t believe in one-size-fits all but the standard wisdom used to go that it takes 21 days to create a habit. Now “they” are saying 60 days.

Unexamined habits aren’t necessarily good for us. They can be useless, outmoded behaviors carried out automatically to give us a sense of numbness and comfort. Routines can help keep us from paying attention to what’s really going on and we can miss out on a lot of our lives that way. But sometimes when we have a goal that requires consistent effort, deliberately developing new habits instead of waiting until we feel like doing something is more effective.

When I get inspiring ideas and a really clear vision and make commitments to things, I know full well that soon I will simply feel like walking away. I’ll wonder what ever made me think this thing was worth doing. Sometimes I’ll actually forget to do something because of distractions or whatever.

Letting go of perfectionism helps and sometimes just doing something on a daily basis, flaws and all, provides that link of continuity. It’s all about whether something serves me or not. If it doesn’t serve me at all, it’s highly unlikely it will do anyone else any good either.

Developing grounding and good habits has served me well in times of crisis. That’s usually when it would be easy to let everything slide and quit taking care of myself.  Eventually I’m aware that life will go on and soon I will enjoy some things again. That’s when I won’t want to have piles of laundry, disorganized financial records and be in trouble at the dentist because of sketchy habits. I make the deliberate choice of caring for my human life even though I wonder why I should bother.

This is on my mind today because difficult things are happening to people I know. One of my Aunts is in the last phase of Hospice care. It is so frigging hot here.

Sometimes we really need to be grown-ups when we’re adults. Adults show up and carry on and believe me, I know how very hard that can be. It can seem that what we do doesn’t matter at all. And in a way, that’s correct. It just matters that we make a choice to do something and then follow through.

Now I’ve posted daily for two months and I’m likely to continue doing so. Whether anyone reads this blog or likes it. Whether I feel like it or not. Until the day I decide to choose to do something else instead.

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Grey ~ Runners Haven # 1

Tags

Entertainment, Gomorrah, Grey, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Shadowrun, Writing

July 30, 2080

Drinking soykaf and trying to limber up this morning after the grueling run last night. Why did I think it would be so damn easy? I have abrasions on my knees and hands which sting, look ugly and make it hard to walk and do things as they scab over and heal.

I’m going to be more careful about carrying slap patches with me and anti-bacterial sprays. My injuries may not have been as serious as those of the others but I’m human and I got them in the SEWERS. Yeah, the simple run to find a runaway ended up in the sewers again with who-knows-what toxic stuff getting into my bloodstream.  No gangrene and amputations for me, thank you.

It sounded easy enough; find a runaway corps brat and return him safely for a huge reward. I thought we were going to split it but in the end we each got 10,000 creds which made the ordeal more worth it. I might spend it on getting my ink repaired unless the tat lady is greedy.

So we looked at some pics on an AR and got some basic info. There were some regulators, an Orc, a tech person, a doc, and a guy with HAIR on the team. Maybe some others. Most of them I’ve met, but people sure are different on a run. Different than when they show up at The Golden Dragon.

I think I was the only non-augumented person and the only human. I had my guns, although I didn’t think I’d need them and I wore a skirt which I thought would suffice. Man, was I ever wrong.  First we had to get a lot of smart-ass remarks out of the way. The first lead took us all to the Cat Scratch Club which was freaking crowded. We milled around looking at people; any one wanting to hide with any amount of sense would have been long gone.

I got a text to go check out the porn set and message back if I found any people there. Hello…..why would I know where the porn set is? I got lost AGAIN which is becoming an embarrassment and by the time I’d found it the others had shown up.

I overheard some disgusting remarks from inside which is adding evidence that lots of guys are lazy pigs. I thought we’re supposed to be a team but it’s dawning on me just how mercenary everyone is. They want to be Just Biz; I can be Just Biz and I’ll remember it when they’re in the Dragon. Make sure they pay and maybe charge them double. Or triple. And they can take their stinking boots off outside and keep them off the tatami floor.

The guys had time to squabble and pose but later in the sewers when I was disoriented, bruised and had rat poop and slime getting in my abrasions, all of a sudden we had to be efficient.  Not at all the kind of guys I read about in those old novels I have. Fine.

So after some threats we get the info that the corps brat was thrown down into one of the sewers. Disheartening. Wish I’d worn leather pants but no time to change. Which sewer entrance? We picked the right one but again with all the discussion. I figured out no one wants me to lead.

Anyway, we faced one danger after another. Crazed augmented killer cats. Found a ripped up ghoul. Heard more meowing coming from one tunnel and what sounded like the brat coming from another. Everyone’s skills came into play. I just have to trust they know what they’re doing but it’s scary when they take damage and begin to freak out and sizzle and twitch and their hardware quits working.

Most of our injuries came from a magical fireball. Two were hurt more severely than  I but aside from needing therapy for PTSD, we’ll likely survive. So with damaged tech, people questioning if it’s worth it and in various stages of breakdown, we finally find the brat. Bet he’ll never run away again.

And wouldn’t you know, we couldn’t just leave. Our way out was blocked by some gray-skinned ghoul thing the size of a troll, dragging an Orc body behind it. It had razor sharp teeth and seemed bent on our destruction.   Taking turns, we tried to bring it down with what we had left. Some of the others took hits from it’s huge arms. My first round had no effect and I jumped back and hid behind the Troll Regulator.

Next time around I got some good shots in as the ghoul troll had been weakened by magic and a knock down by another huge cyber Cat, which came out of nowhere and then took off down another tunnel. Some are saying we were used as bait by it to get the ghoul troll out in the open. The Cat’s likely still a danger to us all.

So relieved when it was over. Now I get why those people who do this for a living act so weird when they wander into the Dragon now and then.

I’ll never wear a skirt on a run again. I’ll take my own damned first aid kit and I’ll not ask for help since it seems to be Just Biz. For awhile I’ll hang out at home and read, put scar prevention gel on my wounds and wait for the weird dreams to go away.

Sunday and I’ll Do What I Want

Tags

blogging, creativity, life, Writing, writing

I’ll do what I want as much as possible today anyway. I’ve been very very responsible this week, like a grown-up with a minimum of complaining or explaining.

It’s very clear to me that a day to rest and chill is more important than having sparkling clean floors or all my e-mail read. It’s great to have floors and access to e-mail.

Yesterday I walked around the downtown of my city and looked at other people’s creativity at the farmer’s market. There was also a festival in the park with jewelry and the like. Street musicians out in the heat too.

It’s been essential to my sanity and health to be creative with something. I so appreciate being able to blog. To write and have it look neat and professional on a template online. Some things I’m not jaded about in this crazy world and can still enjoy like a kid.

One of the reasons I like my role play characters is that I’d like to be able to write fiction but I simply can’t seem to reach having several characters in a story with a plot and all that. The people I play with give me something to bounce off of and it gives me a sense of satisfaction.  I guess it could be said I have a sort of shadow creativity by writing and acting within a virtual world. The same with buying pixelated furniture in the Second Life marketplace and decorating pixelated homes.

One of my favorite ways to be creative is with cooking. I’m not always in the mood for it but it can be  fun and practical.

It seems that almost all the bloggers here are creative, making something positive out of something else. It makes for a nice balance with all the very necessary things we have to do.

Late Night PC Sessions and Moods

Tags

behavior, choices, emotions, Entertainment, Health, life

I’ve been posting every day and I know that’s a lot for other people to read. I’m moving in the direction of organizing my blog better for people to choose the categories that interest them most. On Saturdays, I intend to write about health, emotions and entertainment and how they’re related.

Today I’m writing about recent studies on the link between late night PC/TV sessions and depression. Usually I’m a skeptic about studies but I have my own experience to consider and also what I’ve read about the effects on health since the widespread use of electricity.

Much of this blog is about my discoveries, fun and creativity from roleplaying in Second Life. I also watch a fair amount of hulu, especially during the winter. We’re made of nature, not technology and I prefer being outdoors to being indoors online.

There are many various reasons why people are logged into Second Life during the day here in the United States. When I want to play though, I seem to have more opportunities by being on late into the evening. We can’t live our lives being afraid of everything and I know I often make compromises; entertainment and play is important too.

We can make better choices when we’re aware and informed. The studies show that being exposed to low light at night, such as from computer and television screens, shows changes in behavior and the brain that are similar to symptoms in depressed people. There was less activity and also changes in the hippocampus part of the brain.

(Yeah, the research was conducted on hamsters.) They also produced more of a chemical messenger protein called tumor necrosis factor (TNF), which causes inflammation in its effort to repair injury and infections. There are associations between depression and chronic inflammation in people. Other studies have shown links between obesity and low light exposure at night.

The hamsters also showed reduced density of dendritic spines, hairlike growths on brain cells that send chemical messages from one cell to another.

Some good news is that the damage seems to be reversible by going back to a more natural light/dark cycle. Not always easy to do, I know. Sleep is one area where many of us aren’t making optimal choices. I intend to move in the direction of  lessening my exposure to artificial light at night. It seems an easier habit to begin changing now instead of when it’s dark at 5:00 p.m this winter.

Pearl Grey in TornOak, Legacies Nexus

Tags

Pearl Grey, Photos, photos, Second Life

Drinking Tea at the Neighbors, Briar Rose Cottage

At The Thorned Rose, TornOak, Legacies Nexus

Grey’s Log

Tags

creativity, Gomorrah, Grey, Photos, photos, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Shadowrun, Writing

Grey Serving Tea and Talking Business in the Golden Dragon

July 23, 2080

Running a business sucks and I’m getting tired of it already. I’m drinking up the best tea and serving the soycrap to the customers cause I don’t think they know the difference. Worrying about the safety and happiness of the help, meeting the unreasonable demands of my suppliers and trying to keep the peace in this place is getting on my nerves.

After work I go to the Dojo and do some target practice and that makes me feel better as does sneaking into the Cat Scratch Club and doing a little dancing now and then.

I survived my first gig down in the sewers on a rescue mission last week. One of the trolls got into a bit of trouble along with some others. It was irritating when I was asked what my skills were and then part way into the mission I suddenly remembered—Oh yeah, I can shoot now. And shoot I did.  In the sewers and then later I blew a small boat out of the water. At least I didn’t make a fool of myself.

There’s a pilot who makes runs into Cali and might let me ride along so I can get off this hellish rock for awhile. Get a decent haircut, eat some sushi, check out the new nail polish shades and hang out in J-town a few days. Hope it happens. I need a break from counting the Koi to make sure no one’s been eating them and counting the fluffy towels to make sure they aren’t walking out of the bath house.

About Comparisons and Blog Focus

Tags

blogging, creativity, life, style

Are you enjoying blogging? I am. I’m rather pleased with mine, no matter how it’s received.

I’ve never been competitive. It might partially be from growing up caring for younger kids and being supportive of them. It makes it difficult for me in Second Life role play that I don’t enjoy power struggles and conflict.

Some internet headlines draw my attention no matter how I intend to focus on what I’m doing. Like the one that mentioned that the rise in plastic surgery was connected to technology such as Skype where people are shocked at seeing themselves as they believe others see them.

More recently I’ve read that some celebrities do four and five hour workouts. And that others spend $100,000 a year on their appearance. There’s no way that I want to compare myself with them. When this life is over and I’m reviewing it I don’t want to see myself having spent lots of time looking around at what everyone else was doing and neglecting my own projects and creativity. Or having not appreciated what I had to work with and made something positive with it.

There are some really great wordpress blogs. Comparing what I’m doing to what anyone else is doing doesn’t do anything for me. I just want to enjoy my time writing here as well as reading.

In less than two months I now have more than 30 followers. How many are actually reading my daily posts though? I don’t really want to know. Daily posts are a lot to read, especially when readers are following multiple blogs.

What I’m going to do is make better titles so it’s more clear what the post is actually about. It can be easier to tell at a glance what the subject is so that if a reader is interested in the character Pearl Grey in the TornOak sim and not my interest in neuroplasticity they can pick and choose more quickly. There will still be some blending of subjects sometimes; I simply feel like making it more organized here.

Pearl’s Journal

Tags

creativity, Legacies 1891, Pearl Grey, Photos, photos, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Victorian, Writing, writing

Journal Writing at Briar Rose Cottage

July 22, 1891.

Five weeks ago when I last wrote in this journal, I believed my life had settled into a rather predictable routine. Longing to leave the strange, dark London, yet not imagining how it would be possible, I resolved to make the most of my life and to enjoy what I could to my utmost ability.

Much has changed since then and new possibilities are on the horizon. With the temporary assistance of an Apothecary apprentice, I moved forward with the lotion crafting. We gathered seaweed from the shallow waters in TornOak and also went salmon fishing in the streams. My injuries from slipping on the rocks have healed and I’ve been moving about quite well.

My home at Number Ten, Beyond Darkness is gone, as is Foxtrotter and Grey’s, Katherine’s flat and other familiar places that have been a part of my life. My belongings have all been transported to my cottage here in TornOak, including the fishing equipment I’d ordered from Jackson Barnes, my scrying ball and this journal.

I cannot help but wonder if I’d left this journal behind, and if it had survived the rift and landed in some other place and time, would it be considered as fiction or the ramblings of a madwoman? Perhaps it would be as a note in a bottle thrown into the ocean? No matter, it is here with me now.

My goodbyes were said including to Borris, the spectre and gentleman who always had a cordial word for me at The Black Rose Cafe. He told me he is retiring to a place where fashionable men’s clothing is always available. When I inquired if he tells a different story to everyone, he remained silent in answer. We embraced, I disentangled my hair and necklace from his clavicle and ribs and then went on my way.

Life has been peaceful here of late. I commune with the goddess and go about my days with the small ways I so enjoy. Sometimes small ships come to the shore and I converse with those from far away. It was a great surprise to discover the occupant of one such vessel was someone I’d known in Northern Africa when we’d worked for the trading company.

A textile merchant who escaped with his life as did I after the troubles there, he told me of news that had never reached me and much of it is quite amazing indeed. I fear it has stirred my Roma blood and caused me to wish to travel the worlds even as I know it’s quite dangerous for a human alone.

That makes me laugh–I must get used to not speaking of races other than human if I’m to travel to Algiers. I must seem quite odd as it is already.

I’ve questioned some of the crews of the other small ships to determine if I might indeed safely travel. While Northern Africa seems quite a daunting destination at this time, I’ve heard references to a place called Serenity Falls. When I become fretful in this place and crave a bit of adventure, I might pack my small scrying ball, some lotion bottles and travel there in order to utilize my business skills. Dearly, I would love to see some of the lands I’ve only but read of.

My Avian companion, Lucas is well and continues to return to me. The sunshine and fresh produce here has given me a robust sort of health and my emotional pains are fading. It is a grand thing indeed to have the gift of life and choice.

An Expletive Interesting Project

Tags

creativity, Electric City, films, life

Yesterday I rested instead of using the day to catch up on the minutiae of my life. Last week I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped for but I didn’t let it migrate into Sunday. The weather was in the triple digits again and according to internet headlines many of our fellow humans are behaving badly.

My attention turned from all the things I can do nothing about, to my sphere of  influence. It feels like I lived my life well this weekend. How about you?

Taking a break from my usual escape and entertainment, I watched all 20 episodes of Tom Hanks’ Electric City which is available on the web at this time. The episodes are usually between 4 1/2 and 6 minutes long and I believe I watched them all in under an hour. The episodes are animated; the story takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. The current page has a character guide and a map. There are apps available for other communication devices, such as for sending secret code messages to friends.  With hovercraft, morning grain beverages and grid operatives, they’ve created quite an interesting little world.

There’s some graphic violence, usually stabbing with squirting blood. Little old lady revolutionaries kill with knitting needles and futuristic, deadly taser-like devices are used.

Much of the background artwork is beautiful and atmospheric and I especially enjoyed some of the very detailed interiors. I’m sure the whole thing took way more work that I can ever imagine but I like that the ways people express creativity are evolving and this looks more doable for groups of creatives to work on similar projects.

Humans learn through stories. The talent and skills in this project are way more than I can ever reach for in this life but I’m looking forward to viewing more quality projects such as this. I didn’t wish I had the hour of my life back.

Keeping Her Fingers and Tongue

Tags

Game of Thrones, Photos, photos, RolePlay, roleplay, Second Life, Wren Alcyone

Wren Still Trying To Get A Toe In The Door In Winterfell.

One of the several reasons I’m taking a break from Second Life is the time I feel I’ve wasted trying to get some play in Winterfell (7k). All the details aren’t the sort of thing I care to write about.

But I did spend over an hour that basically was about Wren being warned that she’d better kiss the asses of the Nobles to their satisfaction or risk losing her fingers or tongue. Huh? That’s creativity?

That might be an interesting short term drama for someone. In OOC chat I see people complaining that there’s no one on the sim to play with. Well, Wren is trying but it has to be fun for her too.