One of the more successful ways I have of navigating through my life is to really pay attention when I begin to physically or emotionally respond in a negative way to something. And then to consider a response and follow through.
Lately I’ve been introducing more raw foods into my diet. It’s wonderful that so many food bloggers out there sharing gluten-free and other healthy recipes. Some of the recipes I’ve tried recently had red bell peppers as an ingredient. Red bell peppers, a member of the nightshade family, give me arthritis-like symptoms.
The focus of this blog isn’t my health challenges. What I want to mention is that I consciously considered if it was worth paying the price for my recent food indulgences. I did and now I regret it. I think. I do feel like crap but realize that we can’t live our lives in sterile environments, avoiding things and people we don’t like all the time. After all, when this life is over I want to know that I lived it and didn’t merely become and expert at avoiding.
It was a rough beginning for me to become a resident of Second Life. When I saw that people who were there as “themselves” were experiencing betrayals, heartbreak and were blurring the line between real and virtual life, I thought role playing would be safer. I threw myself into learning as I often do with things. I didn’t expect everyone else to be like me and worked at being flexible.
One of the most important things to look for in a role play sim is whether or not it’s actually populated and active. Unfortunately, most of the sims that have players are dark. I gave it a good go but for awhile now the dark themes are bringing me down. I find myself thinking things like, “Haven’t they ever lost anyone close to them?” Or, “Isn’t anything at all happening in their real lives for them to need this kind of stimulation?”
I’ve read several informational note cards given in new sims about what’s to be expected. At least one person who’s noticed my absence has mentioned to me that perhaps I don’t belong in dark roleplay.
They’re right! Just as gluten, dairy and the nightshade family messes me up, so does the “play” in these dark story lines.
I’m going to listen to myself and take a break. It’s a different world than it was five or seven years ago. Frankly, I’m surprised at the darkness that the masses still seem to go for in entertainment.
I’ll find something to do with this blog, which I enjoy. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a few months again. And the future of Second Life is becoming more and more questionable anyway. I feel like putting some of the beauty of it here for awhile instead of lamenting the grossness of some of the residents that I encounter.
There are things we do for a season or so and it serves us in some way. It’s like a bridge to get to another land. Maybe we meet someone. We learn new skills. We learn things about ourselves and the world around us. Maybe like Ben and Jerry’s ice cream it feels good in the moment and then not so good later.
In this case, I think I’ve been seeing the ideals, the possibilities, the wonderful potential that virtual worlds can be. The collaborative part of storytelling could be so much fun and accessible for non-professionals. The flip side is spending time in this virtual world with people who find insults, hostility, abuse and degradation to be worthwhile pastimes. People who want to attack and kill my character without so much as a conversation or acknowledgement that a person is typing and moving the mouse.
The real world seems to be moving faster and it’s like we’re all living three or four lives at the same time with all we juggle. To live optimally, it’s a good thing to use what we know about what does and doesn’t work for us. The subconscious, which actually has a lot more say in our lives than the conscious mind, doesn’t know the differences between what really happens and what we take in through entertainment and our imaginations.
This winter, I don’t want achy joints and headaches so I’ll make the necessary dietary adjustments again. As someone who is aware of the real world in which I’m a citizen I really don’t want to include ugliness in my vibration and psyche through my entertainment choices. I also don’t want to go to an extreme and become a hothouse flower.
I think we all have something like this going on. It’s safe to look at it; we usually don’t need to act right away before it’s time or before we can muster up the courage.
I really don’t belong in dark role play at all. Right now I’m kind of burned out and don’t feel like looking for alternatives. There’s a lot to appreciate in SL and I’m sure I’ll find changes in my approach to it that will feel good.
Thank you for being someone who doesn’t only read short posts. This is what I wanted to write.