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Everything is evolving and changing; we can see it all around us in real life. And it’s happening at a very rapid and chaotic pace now. Everything’s connected, like neural pathways in the brain. The only permanent thing is the love that’s the glue of the universe.

This morning I logged to make a quick check of e-mail and messages, including Second Life messages, and saw that the dark Victorian rp sim I play in will be disappearing from the Second Life platform within the next few days. I’m not surprised at all. It’s the home of my first ever rp character, Pearl Grey. And like cooking, gardening, art and whatever one may be engaged with there are life lessons to be noted if one cares too.

This sim might perhaps evolve into another form if there’s interest and support. I read something about it possibly showing up in an industry standard MMO engine. I know almost nothing about what that means but did google it briefly. Just as with anything else, if there isn’t attention, energy, commitment, support and a real need it will simply vanish. It was stated that the website will remain for those who want to continue writing journals and such.

I’ve had a lot of mostly unspoken criticism about the way things were run and many of the other players. Why would I continue in something I felt was dysfunctional? Well, I must do something in life. I was born into a dysfunctional family, grew up in a dysfunctional home town, my school, medical care and other institutions throughout my life needed much evolvement and improving. What we can do is  learn who we are, decide what’s necessary and important for us and show up in life moment by moment. We all have more say in the changes happening that we’ve been taught. We can be as patient and compassionate as we can manage because change is scary and messy and uncertain.

I’m a fairly new blogger and haven’t learned how to make pretty links back to my previous posts. If I were to do all that prep learning first, I wouldn’t be blogging right now. Anyway, I wrote a post about some players getting so frustrated that they had melt-downs and burned bridges with other characters and even got banned from the sim. All that drama.

Life has been so much easier for me since I’ve learned and practiced skipping over the blame part and the tantrums and emotional blackmail. It doesn’t work. Some players have been so impatient to acquire some of the inworld buildings for their businesses. One elaborate set-up was just finished last week. There really is such a thing as Divine Timing. Perhaps the person is pleased that her vision was created, even if for a short time. There can be very good reasons for delays in life.

This also explains the weird, unhelpful vibe I’ve picked up on during the last few months. See, it didn’t have anything to do with me personally; it was behind the scenes stuff.

And this hasn’t triggered any old emotional stuff that I haven’t dealt with. Even though it’s a game, I’ve had many real life experiences of being blindsided, having the rug pulled out from under me, tragic endings and the like. The subconscious doesn’t know the difference between what is “real” and what we “imagine”. When I was a child and family members died I was very reserved, being a good girl and not acting needy. But then when my cats would get run over on the highway I was a mess. We can’t just stuff everything inside. Sometimes when we try, the emotions come out inappropriately such as when something like this rp sim goes down.

I could go on and on but I need to move on. Things to do. I might take some photos for my flickr page. And there’s a possibility that the connected TornOak sim will stay up. And fortunately I’ve already rented real estate there.

And yay!! I’m inworld and just learned that TornOak will stay for awhile.  My character Grey is sitting in the Cafe in Gomorrah with two friends as I multi-task.

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